December 5, 2008

Currently Listening: Justin Timberlake – Sexy back
Cheers to the Weekend: -)

Friday Fame goes to
Sujoy Khan (Bangalore)& Abhishek Dubey (Hyderabad) – for contributing the text
Mala Usgaonker (Hyderabad) – for contributing the video – best viewed using VLC Media Player

Scene - I
Three men, two younger and one senior citizen were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young man pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager" he said "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm".

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young man lifted his palm to his ear. When he had finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand".

The older man felt very low tech and wasn't to be outdone, he decided he had to do something impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. When he returned, he had a piece of toilet paper hanging from his rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

The older man finally said "Well, will you look at that.........I'm getting a fax!!

Scene - II
The Frustration of a married man!
A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla immediately went crazy. He jumped on the bars and, holding on with one hand and 2 feet, he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously very excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got extremely excited, now making noises that would wake the dead. Then the husband suggested that she let one of her dress straps fall to show a little more skin. She did ... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down!

"Now, show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips and charging the bars!

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla, slammed the cage door shut and said, "Now, tell him you have a headache AND U ARE NOT IN THE MOOD NOW."

Need the video, reach me by email at fridaylegacy@gmail.com

November 28, 2008

Currently Listening: To the News

Cheers to the Weekend: -)

Friday Fame goes to
Keerthi Prabhu (Mangalore) – for contributing the text
Dheeraj Tuteja (Hyderabad) – for contributing the video – best viewed using VLC Media Player

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try." he says.

So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this". "What?" asks the priest, "what happened?". "You gave birth to a child!" "But that's impossible!" says the priest. "I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."

About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."

The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?"

The priest replies, "I am your mother. The archbishop is your father”.

Need the video, reach me by email at fridaylegacy@gmail.com

November 21, 2008

Currently Listening: Timbaland – Shock
Cheers to the Weekend: -)

Friday Fame goes to
Libin Babu & Puspa Sahu (Hyderabad) – for contributing the text

Arti Shah & Kaushik N C (Hyderabad) – for contributing the video – best viewed using VLC Media Player

Scene - I

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker. The priest had given the last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants.

The Warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?" To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love music. Could you please play Himesh Reshammiya for me one last time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"


"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."



Scene – II

Employer's Lingo:

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

Employee's Lingo:

"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANISATION:"
I've used Microsoft Office.

"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE"
I prefer office supplies.

Need the video, reach me by email at fridaylegacy@gmail.com

November 14, 2008

Currently Listening: Justin Timberlake – Summer Love

Cheers to the Weekend: -)

Friday Fame goes to

Satya Baswa (Hyderabad) – for contributing the video – best viewed using VLC Media Player

Scene – I

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question. He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 25 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25-year-old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical.


Scene – II

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.

"Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office.

"Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"

Need the Video? Reach me at fridaylegacy@gmail.com

November 7, 2008

Currently Listening: P Diddy – I need a Girl

Cheers to the Weekend: -)

Friday Fame goes to

Veena Devarakonda (Hyderabad) – for contributing the text
Shruthi Kamath (New Zealand) – for contributing the video – best viewed using VLC Media Player

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.

1) Whenever you enter the classroom, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted to my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

5) While trekking, my friend and me offered our hands to lift you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for the bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded


7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfil my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in ur heart & it's getting ready to bloom.
If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not. Eagerly awaiting
your reply..


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........

Aakash,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No

2) If a girls laughs and looks at anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets the lyrics, will he/she stop singing?
(a) Yes (b) No

4) I was showing my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... right ?
(a) Yes (b) No

5) I avoided holding your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
a)Yes (b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you.
If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you.

Reshma

Need the Video? Reach me at fridaylegacy@gmail.com

October 24, 2008

Cheers to the Weekend: -)

Friday Fame goes to
Ujwal Kakodkar (Hyderabad) – for contributing the text

Ask questions & Don't Assume. Assumptions increase the problems & discussion reduces.

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route .No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said, ' Big John doesn't pay!' and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was.

Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way.

Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, 'Big John doesn't pay!’ The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, ' And why not?' With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, ' Big John has a bus pass.'

Management Lesson: 'Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.

Need the Video? Reach me at fridaylegacy@gmail.com

October 17, 2008

Currently Listening: Awarapan – Mahiya

Cheers to the Weekend: -)

Friday Fame goes to
Deepak Iyer (Montreal) – for contributing the signs


Amit Sood (Pune) – for contributing the video- best viewed using VLC Media Player

Need the Video? Reach me at fridaylegacy@gmail.com